So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
