What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
