"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
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