My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sober January is a disaster.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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