Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
