Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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