Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
