oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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