At least make sure they are 18
Why
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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