I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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