went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
