you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
