I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
