I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
