Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
