There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
