i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
