he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
