I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
