Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i dont even know how to be here
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
