I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize