good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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