Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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