I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I look better un-naked...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You are a genius and a whore.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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