moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
