Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
