so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
