Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
