i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
