Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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