is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
