how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
