there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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