I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You are a genius and a whore.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
