So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
