think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
