My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
