I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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