I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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