Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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