Swine flu is the new snow day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
