i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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