he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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