it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
