i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
