Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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