It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
