dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
