Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
