Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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