I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
