dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
