she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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