remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dick very happy bro
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
