I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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