I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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