I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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