I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
