It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
