Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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