whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
