I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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