kristin has been a bad kristin
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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