Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
