you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
