should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
