Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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